Original Tip #15 - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds of gunfire to incapacitate them, so be prepared.

I wouldn't normally condone the shooting of children, but if they are looking at you with hungry, red-glowing eyes, that's not right. So keep the earlier tip about dispossessions in mind and step away slowly, bringing your weapon of choice to bear. And look at the bright side; you can use that college fund money for something else now. Like therapy.